Love & Marriage

Navigating Through The Valentine Mine

When I think of Valentine's, I think of just enjoying the company of my mate
He can’t dance, but he still has some moves.  


Me and my roomies from FIU.  Great memories made without men clouding up the picture.
Me and my roomies from FIU. Great memories made without men clouding up the picture back then.

One thing I know single ladies hate to hear from a married person is “Trust me, it’s really not all that.”  Knowing that it’s a bald faced lie and to patronize a single friend is a big no-no where relationships are concerned.  Married ladies, let’s be honest, if you have a man that’s into spoiling you like that, it’s one of the best days on the calendar.  If you’re married to one who thinks it’s just another day, then it’s just another day.  

Eddy, my husband of fifteen years, used to bring roses to my dorm and give to all my single room mates.  He was always sweet and considerate like that.  Now that we’re married, he’s still taken the lead on Valentine’s Day because I’m the one who thinks its over commercialized and over-rated.  Who wants to stand in line for two hours to eat some food you could really do better at home?!  He still manages to make it intimate and personal somehow.

During my single years, Valentine’s Day was less about trying to find a man, and more about just hanging out with my friends.  One year we all piled up in a car and went to a late night diner all dressed up.  I still remember that V-Day dinner and I’m happy I had friends to share it with.  Singing at the top of the lungs in my old Corolla all the loved songs of pining for unrequited love was a college girl’s idea of Valentine’s Day.  Thank God we had dumped the” losers” who broke our respective hearts and never looked back. They’re losers cause they “lost” a great opportunity to be with great women.

There is this unseen but yet palpable pressure to be with someone on a day like this and this is where all sorts of wrong decisions take place, all because you want to post pictures of chocolate-covered strawberries and champagne on Facebook.  Don’t believe the hype folks and definitely don’t feel like you have to make a mad dash  to find  a man or woman for that temporary fix.

Some simple suggestions for the singles:

  • A spa day is in order.  Take this weekend and spend it at a really nice hotel with beach and pool access.  Bring a book and meet some new friends while you’re lounging pool side.
  • Dinner with gal pals.  This favorite past time will never grow old.  Decide who has the space and take the dinner to a friend’s if the lines are too long.  
  • Reach out to someone that God has been leading you to speak to for sometime, but you hadn’t found the time to.  Maybe they have no plans and catching up with an old friend or colleague is always refreshing.

To The Lovebirds

  • Do something different.  Why does dinner and the movies have to be the beginning and end of your plans?  Go indoor rock climbing, paint balling, the gun range–do something out of the box to test your mettle.
  • Be creative in your gift giving.  Don’t give the jewelry store all your hard earned money.  In your many conversations over the past few months, something should stand out that you know that person wants.  Last year, I did daily letters leading up to my hubby’s birthday.  I knew that words of affirmation was his thing so I wrote my heart out.  He ate it all up.  Still reaping benefits from that move.  Check out Pinterest!  They have some great dating ideas.
  • For our married couples, learn a new  position, a new way to tease him or her into blissful submission.  The bed is un-defiled, so “making them bands rain” is perfectly okay.  Just know Valentine shouldn’t be the only day you work your “skills.”  For my single couples, you’ll get a whole ‘nother post about WHY the buck stops here–just not today, lol!

Needless to say, be safe and use sound judgement in what you do today.  Love God, consider His precepts and most importantly love yourself.  Without self-love, it’s going to be pretty hard for anyone else to love you.

Happy Heart Day!


4 thoughts on “Navigating Through The Valentine Mine”

    1. Ugh, the autocorrect feature on my cell strikes again! Take 2 !
      “My mind set has really changed about this holiday in particular, and I find that I can either enjoy it with friends or stay home and chill. Either way is fine by me. Great post. Spa days are always in order! Lol”

  1. You’re a talented writer. I truly enjoy reading your blogs. They’re informative and I appreciate the different points of view they create.

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