Forever Family

A Promise Kept

My husband, Eddy, has the more outgoing and forthcoming personality of us two. I’m known to hang back a bit while he dives head first into any new friendship or endeavor. The journey towards creating our forever family has been interesting thus far. I marvel at all that it takes to adopt a child. Suffice it to say if this is what it would take to birth children, the human race would have ended its reign on earth right about the time of the Dark Ages.

Every now and then Eddy feels compelled to share with friends about our intent to adopt. It’s no big secret but it’s not what I include in conversations with most. On this particular day he was talking to a golf buddy who has since moved to another state. In the span of catching up, Eddy mentions to him we are adopting. He expected the usual congrats and excitement. I myself tend to note the awkward silence that ensues. But this time around, the grown man on the other end of the phone began to cry. Now that’s a new response! And once Eddy explained why this dear old friend cried, I have to admit it also struck a chord in me.

Eddy’s friend had a dad who decided one day that fatherhood, for whatever reason, was not for him. Needless to say, a young boy was left broken and hurt. There came a time when his mom met and fell in love with someone and this same little boy would climb on the lap of this new man and say, “I need a dad, do you think you can be my dad?” The man responds, “Yes, I will be your dad.”

I pictured this scene in my mind’s eye: an innocent child with the faith of a mustard seed looking at a huge mountain, admitting a need and trusting that this adult will in fact move this mountain and be his dad. This conversation on adopting brought back a flood of memories for my husband’s friend. I can only imagine the good memories he’s shared with his now deceased stepfather. And my resolve to move forward is set further in stone.

Adoption isn’t a conversation that takes place easily or often in the circles I engage in (and trust when I say, it is a diverse group of folks I know.) I usually chalk it up to ignorance on the subject or natural unease. New experiences yield awkwardness in some people. I’ve had people insist that even after we adopt we should still consider having our own; as if the child we bring into our home won’t in fact be “our own.” I laugh on the inside and brush off the well-meaning but sometimes misguided comments. It’s the stories like my husband’s friend that keep me encouraged.

For every blended family that came together in marriage despite the differences, I commend you. For every coach who has raised a student athlete without the benefits of formal custody, I salute you. For every grandparent, godparent, aunt, uncle, friend who have taken the lead in the life of a child against the judgement of others, hats off to you.

That step-dad made a promise to his young son, one that he kept until his death. We too want to be able to look our child in the eyes and keep that same promise–that no matter what life brought you up to this point–we will be your parents.


Beau–Our “Handsome” Dog–7

This Sunday marked the third anniversary of our beloved Beau’s passing. I read this blog and marvel at the life I lead because of his absence.

Del Gervais

Written 7/30/10


Journal #7: Remembered As He Was

He’s no longer here and I have to make that trek back home to face his dog bed, his food, his water jug, his tire toy, and all his medications that were in his own special in the garage.  I have to cancel his pet insurance.  I have to sweep up all his shedding hair for months to come.  My stylist knew I had a pet just by doing my hair!

His hair would be in places he never ventured into.  

There was that ongoing argument between Eddy and I about whether Beau in fact never really entered our bedroom.  Eddy would look at the amount of hair on the carpet or the side of the bed and be like “He was here, you can’t tell me that dog wasn’t in here!”  I’d defend Beau to the death and point out that…

View original post 716 more words

READ Initiative (Bible in 365)

Stay On Your Grind

When an individual pushes his/herself to attain a goal.

These last few weeks away were some of the best quality time spent with friends. I really lived in the moment and put mostly everything else on pause.

Although I enjoy traveling, no one hates unpacking more than I do. Coming back to a house that’s suddenly the epicenter of chaos doesn’t help either.

Then there are the appointments, the projects, the meetings, the commitments and I wish I could crawl in my suitcase and ship myself off somewhere else. But it’s time to face the music.

That Proverbs on diligence is my reminder that only the committed reach their goals. There’s a time to rest and reflect but it has to be carved out of what should ordinarily be productive days in one’s life.

Be you the artist trying to break out into the industry, the working mom balancing family and a career, the man who’s suddenly found himself as “stay at home dad”, or the student on the ledge of adulthood, we all have work to do.

We all have something that God has deposited in our hearts to carry out. Be it for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Stick to your plan, set the objectives and move forward.

A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. (Proverbs 13:4 NIV)


Random Thoughts

Nature Is My Nurture

I am the notorious “busy lady,” always on the go, never standing still. Yet there are times and spaces in my life where even I know it’s time to grind to a halt and welcome the art of doing nothing.

I used to feel this unreasonable guilt when I would take off for a few days or just get up on a Saturday and ignore the invites to some function or other. My bed would be my dance floor and my sweats and Tshirt would be my haute couture.

I am sitting on a porch today high in the Smokeys enjoying the smell of my husband’s coffee. We both rock in rhythm in our chairs. Our view is a canvas of mountains, low lying clouds and a sun waiting to make its grand entrance.

My mind is clear and am able to churn out my thoughts with no writers block to stop my creative flow.

My husband anticipates this type of living in our sunset years. Me, I want a slice of this as often as I can. It patches up those leaking spots in my spirit, mends the chipped parts of my soul. No guilt, no explanations.