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Elevator Madness

There’s money to be made in elevator security videos these days. Somewhere out there is a now unemployed hotel employee making bank off the bad behavior of those who “appear” to be known celebrities (wink, wink). Now if they just had a side order of audio to go with that entree of hella-mess!

Something snapped for the alleged aggressor and she could not for another moment contain her utter disgust as hands and feet flayed in that small space. The alleged target stands there giving verbal jabs, debonair through it all. Let’s not forget the bystander who could do nothing but try and fade into the glass walls. That right there was NOT an incident that JUST happened. No siree! Trust and believe this was a stew brewing for more than a hot second.

As adults we have to take inventory of our sore spots. What sets you off? Ignorance, hypocrisy, trifling brother-in-laws? Here are some quick tips on assessing those behavioral loop holes.

Be Honest
Who among us hasn’t smirked or cringed inwardly when someone got on our nerves? Your alter ego was half way up with your hand ready to smack the mess out the antagonist. Take the time to analyze your reaction and own it. Make room to gauge your reaction, why you reacted, and the root cause.

Be Up Front
There are ways to set up boundaries and limits to your “non-negotiables.” Cussing out and hitting someone is not one of them. You have a family member who harps on the same thing every time you meet. There’s a colleague jumping on your last professional nerve. There are 1001 ways to let that person know they crossed a line. They may not get your initial subtle hint laced with a smile. It might have to take a full on civilized tete-a-tete to get your point across. I usually get mine done in a blog (hint, hint.) Give it straight, no chasers.

Let It Go
Be a duck and let some of that stuff slide right off your back. Foolishness abounds and the Bible has always warned against others getting the best of us. There was a little girl who chose to bother another little girl just to ensure she wouldn’t make it on a class field trip. Sly looks, muttered words were the norm. That tortured girl had to get the help of parents and teachers to stay above the drama. Who in your life is fighting hard to keep you from your proverbial field trip? Rise above it.

Don’t be that ball of rage that even an elevator can’t contain. Sad part is those who lash out are the ones who are dismissed. We are not celebrities who get to come off an elevator and take beautiful photo shots. Ugly behavior breeds negativity and darkness that even a celebrity can’t shake off. Choose better. Do better.

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And The Award Goes To…Mom!

There could never be an award show long enough or glamorous enough to showcase the sacrifices made by our mothers. She is the bedrock, pillar, and cornerstone that kept her family intact. I’m not interested in differentiating between the married or single or adoptive or divorced mom. Far as I can tell, a mom is a mom is a mom. Your common thread is the children you chose to have or you chose to raise as your own.

Most Intuitive
I can’t tell you how many dreams my mom had of me that merited some thought or prayer in my life. Moms just know. They can’t quite put their fingers on it but having those eyes behind their head gave them a leg up on dad most of the time. Moms just know.

Most Creative
Whether it was figuring out how to stretch that week’s grocery budget or hemming down those pair of pants for the next school year, moms are notorious for “making it work.” A friend of mine had no problems with going back to her Haitian roots and getting a bag of rice, pack of chicken and a bottle of vegetable oil for food one week. There would be no Oreos or ice cream this week but her kids would be fed.

Most Likely To Reach Over And …
In the days when what is now deemed “corporal punishment” was called discipline, ‘momma’ had no problem setting you straight. There would come the warnings, countdowns, and even the fancy word–redirection. But when all else failed, you were going to get it!

Most Unsung Heroine
Proverbs 31 does a bang up job of highlighting her roles, her passion, her influence. She is the merchant who traveled to countries to buy and sell her wares. She is the visionary who thought a good future for her children was worth more than her own present comfort. She dreamed big and wanted more for her children. She is the soul that suffers silently to keep her children worry-free. I speak of my own mother and millions who have come and gone, who are here now, and who have yet to come.

Mammas, madres, ma, mami, mum, mother, whatever be her name. Here’s to mothers, may we be raised by them, may we learn from them, may we become like them.


Those Who Hustle

“Things may come to those who wait… but only the things left by those who hustle.”

The 90’s tv comedy show, In Living Color, made Jamaicans popular with the “I have ‘tree’ jobs” skits. No one has looked at an Irie Man the same ever again. You tell someone you have a diversified employment portfolio and next word out their mouth is “you must be a Jamaican!” Love my fellow islanders but it’s Haitian blood that run through these veins. And no, I don’t sit still to wait and see what the world is going to give me.

I used to be hesitant, even skittish about sharing what all I did personally and professionally. Sharing what I all I had my hand in left others breathless and tired just hearing it. But I get my sleep every night and I eat just fine. I’m spiritually centered and have God at the center of it all. I usually ask Him to shut whatever doors He doesn’t want me to enter and lock it up real right. I have a great support system in place. My husband loves me as I am (most times!) and he isn’t one bit insecure about who I am and what I do.

And that’s just it. Those who don’t believe in waiting on life to happen to us have to be surrounded by those who don’t mind watching the whirlwind that is the life of the perfectionist, the above-board achiever. We have a hint of ADD and a touch of OCD. You combine that with our insatiable curiosity and you have an individual whose ever growing, ever in transition.

Next time you come across a “hustler” do try to hide your dismay a little bit better and watch them do their thing. Who knows, you may learn a thing or two.



Risk-Taking Isn’t Just For The Young

Last week I said goodbye to a job I held for ten years. Today I start on a new journey in a new role. My mentors would say I’m young enough to start anything new. But my 40-something brain sometimes think I should be content and not try to make too many waves.

Change seems to be the only constant and with this knowledge we should continue to embrace transition. How many times have you reached the fork in the road and just wanted to sit there? People do and when they get up, five years have passed with no movement.

That fork in the road can be a new profession, a move to another state, deciding to have another child when you said you wouldn’t, or even a new personal perspective on life. There will be the detractors in the guise of friends and family members. It takes resolve to silence the voices and go with your heart.

Taking risks should not just be left to college grads and desperate millenials. Rather it is for anyone who has a yearning to be different, to do different, and make a difference. Age may impact how swift it can take place. Yet with adequate thought, prayer, and planning it can happen.

Take the time to consider your priorities. If there is a family to think of, look at the bigger picture and be sure your decision has factored in how your spouse and/or children will be affected. Failing to count the entire cost could be detrimental. Once you have done your research, considered the pluses and deltas, then you make your final decision.

Once all is said and done and you know change is in your future, then by all that’s good and perfect do the damn thing! Trust me, your heart won’t miss a beat and you will know, that you know, that you know, taking that fork in the road was worth the risk. You choose which side to take–none else.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-6
“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.”