Got a random text the other day from someone I usually don’t see or speak to often. We cool and all. I tease her when I see her at events and we get along famously until the next occasion we bump into each other. Truth be told, I only text her when there’s the 80% off clearance shoes at Macy’s! We love to shop and don’t mind waiting a whole year to take advantage of a bad sale. We now have one more thing in common–the loss of a mother.
Before May 30th, I could only sympathize with people who were walking down that lonely stretch of church aisle behind a casket. Post May 30th, I now get it. It was good to mention some odd thought or behavior and know that someone else really understands.
She spoke of Sunday dinners that are no more. She misses the errands and trips to the store. Another spoke of his childhood loss, remembering how he was extremely hungry one night, walked in the kitchen and it him yet again–his mother was not there. When big events in his life happen, the loss is fresh again.
One’s guard can be down when there is empathy in the room; when the foreign language you are speaking is understood by others. There is a level of transparency that exists if even for a moment. You aren’t afraid that the other person on the line may be squirming and nervous at this talk of loss and death. They get it. This new club you have joined welcomes one and all in humanity.
Me: Thanks for checking in on me. It’s always good to talk to someone who understands. Such is life.