Somewhere along the way be it one’s misinterpretation of the Bible, a pastor’s casual commentary from the pulpit, or the pressure from the pews, sisters in the faith woke up believing that marriage would be the cure all for their self-perceived loneliness. So trading inner peace for chaos and joy for pain many women have found themselves in battered ships on the turbulent sea of marriage.
He’s the One
Yeah one of MANY. Women are like drones. Once we set our sights on a man, nothing short of pestilence and scurvy (yes, I said scurvy) will shake us when we have found that man who we THINK will be the answer to our prayers. Yet in the words of my urban chicks “that’s the problem.” Last time I checked, Jesus never spoke of human beings as the answer to our prayers. Matter of fact, clear warnings abound about being “yoked” to the wrong One. As if the form of godliness (i.e. knowing how to sit straight and be attentive in church service) means a man is the dating type, never mind the marrying type! Don’t know nothing about his perspective on child-rearing, caring for aging parents, or education but you ready to hand the rest of your life over to him. Ha!
All That Glitters
So we sit in church and watch couples hold hands, rub backs and steal secret glances. Then we think, yeah that’s what I want. Someone to sit next to and make me look good. Make me look whole. Never mind the other six days of the week, these couples are on the grind keeping roof over head, keeping children fed, taking care of elderly parents and finding time to have sex and save for the future in the midst of it all. Get a grip folks! MARRIAGE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!! So no, all that glitters truly ain’t gold. Rather it is combination of metals that take continuous polishing to keep it looking good.
Wake Up Call
Nothing gets my goat more than seeing women who rushed down the aisle still zipping up their dress and putting on their shoes limp back down in the other direction throwing rings and public jibes all over social media rueing the day they said the big “I Do.” And in the true spirit of ignorance and poor judgement, the rest of us get dragged into the muck of your mess as you find every excuse under the sun to write your exit slip out of your marriage.
Guess what? You don’t pass go and collect $200. You don’t get a do over and claim he wasn’t your soulmate. Yes, some of us sure know how to use God to support such asinine comments. You don’t get a big pink eraser. What you do get is a reality check and the opportunity to make it right. You do get to find mentors who got plenty of sense to whom you can lay bare your broken marriage, ready to receive wise counsel. You get to shut your damn social media (yeah I said damn), stop asking millions of strangers to answer your questions and seek counseling from qualified professionals and clergy. Hint, your single friends and three margaritas during happy hour IS NOT considered marital counseling session. A divorced friend once told me that you have to work yourself out of a marriage. It should not be easy to just walk away.
So before you sell your heart for sixpence and be none the wiser, take a pause for the cause. Your heart is Christ’s most precious possession. Dare not to hand it over for less than it’s worth.
In love and transparency …