Current Events, Love & Marriage

Getting Engaged: There’s a Vaccine For That

As a female, I cannot appreciate the work, the pressure, the fear that goes into getting up the nerve to propose to a woman. To say before all of creation that SHE is the ONE! So when I see the garter belt fall “thump” to the floor at these weddings, I no longer smirk and roll my eyes in female indignation. Warning: I will lose cool points with the feminine gender, but I believe this bears the telling.

M is for monogamy. It is not in a man’s nature to seek out monogamous relationships. King Solomon himself lost his spiritual footing the minute he allowed the countless of concubines to cloud his faith with God. David couldn’t build the temple because he gazed on a beautiful woman and killed her husband in the process of wanting her. Monogamy is a God-thing. It’s not innate. It has to be deposited in a man’s spirit to want to cleave to one woman forever. And until that occurs stay the hell away.

M is for maturity. Scientific fact: our brains do not develop until 25. And it’s up for debate if a man’s brain takes longer to develop executive functioning. The best thing that happened to the cost of auto insurance for my husband was when we got married. Even the insurance company knows that a married man is a mature man (and even then, lol!). When a man says he’s not ready for marriage, he’s telling you just that. His attitude, his mindset, his way of thinking about life-long commitments has not matured. It is not a good or bad in this. It just is.

So yes, some men need to be vaccinated until such a time when they are truly ready–and not a moment sooner. So ladies, please! Not the dropping on your knees while he sips on his rum and Coke eyeing you like “you’se a fool.” Not the mailing him bridal magazines hoping he would get the hint. Not the shouting out loud in church when the pastor even says a word that starts with M. Not the Pinterest board that you casually bring up in conversation. Not the giving him the evil eye when he doesn’t get up to catch that damned garter! Not any of it!

Leave that man alone! He’s vaccinated for a reason! When you are eventually married to the love of your life and you see him broke and busted with unnamed children on all four corners of this earth, you will wish he was not just vaccinated, but neutered and spayed.

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