Repairing A Broken Marriage: What Next? 

So you’re on opposites side of the bed these days.  The children provide the only communication in your home. Their absence promotes a pregnant silence that is as impregnable as Fort Knox. You woke up one day and realized the vows you shared are hollowed out and dry. 

Pastor has just sliced and diced you like a flaying fish at market in a message about preserving marriages.  The conviction is real. It is thick in the air. Now what next?  Whoever said marriage was a walk in the park lied and deserves to be drawn and quartered. After all, you’re the one holding the bag of discontent. Now what next?

As a psychotherapist and pastor’s wife, I have witnessed soured marriages where both spouses are left lying in the battlefield of their war.  After words have been exchanged, feelings have been hurt, there is no real winner. For the brave souls who decide to get up and take their scarred hearts into the urgent care, they are one step closer to a solution. 

There is hope for any couple who is willing to admit that their marriage sucks. There is hope for any couple who are on their leg with no where else to turn to. No amount of church services will start to heal a marriage. It takes the hard work of two souls who look to Christ and say, “We give up, and we give in.”

Marriage is God’s earthly example of what eternity will be like with Him. We are here on earth to learn what commitment looks like. What devotion looks like. What desire for someone outside of yourself looks like. 

A trip away, sans kids. Signing up for marital counseling. Attending a couples conference. Practicing a new sexual position. Spending less. Spending more. Placing the children second and you first.  Whatever it takes to get you two on the road is worth the cost. 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” –Ephesians 5:31


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