Marital Fallacies

I grew up reading famed romance author, Johanna Lindsey. Her plots never deviated. Boy meets girl. Boy pretends he doesn’t like girl. Girl pretends she doesn’t like boy. There is a bad guy in there for good measure. Boy slays the dragon and wins girl’s heart. And they live happily ever after. The book would always end with the couple riding off into the sunset leaving me, the reader, to infer of what would happen next. 

My mind would make up all sorts of “part two” stories about how many children they would have and what lands they would conquer as a dynamic duo. They would grow old together and die in the same bed together and be buried together. 


Lol! Amen to that!

Your mate does NOT complete you. 

The bible says you came into the marriage two individuals who are now to become one. This notion that another human being is the cause of you becoming whole is heresy to say the least. No human being should hold the place of our Almighty God. He is the Author of our Life. He is the one who holds our future in His hands. Once we were saved we are already made whole. Our spouse would now benefit from this wholeness in our marital union. 

Your mate is NOT perfect.                     

This person who looked so radiant, so dapper, on your wedding day will dissapoint you. There is a reason for this verse:

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.”- Ephesians 4:2-3

He or she will disappoint and cause you to look at the many pillows on your bed in deep contemplation! 


Your mate is NOT the answer to your prayers.                                      

Rather they are the tool used for God’s answers to your prayer. You will wake up one day and realize that the life you both set out to have as a “power couple” has not materialized. Illness, childless, penniless; these are some of the things that can become a couple’s reality.  And while those aspects of marriage rarely make Facebook and Instagram posts, it does happen. Not a question of if, but rather a question of when. 


As wedding vows go, this spoken world artist took her wedding vows as a platform to remind us all that marriage is truly serious business!


In transparency and love…


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